hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

sassygaymalec:

kaciart:

iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:

Some people think the the British obsession with tea is a false stereotype but let me tell you that one time my mum and I had a massive argument and she made me some tea as a peace offering and I poured it down the sink and made my own cup

image

sounds more like the american revolution if you ask me

demon-gliter:

emkaymlp:

elusivist:

darn-you-cumberbatch:

Meanwhile on the set of Avengers 2…

image

Is that…?

image

EEEEEEP!

IS EVERYONE IGNORING THE FACT THAT THAT’S SPIDERMAN’S COSTUME

nah man everyone’s interested in the dude with a bottle of sprite in his pocket OF COURSE WE SEE SPIDERMANS COSTUME

i don’t know man that bottle sprite tho

  • me: *walks up to a group of middle schoolers skateboarding*
  • me: lemme show you a trick or two
  • middle schoolers: *hand me a board*
  • me: this one's called stealing
  • me: *runs away with it*

xsleeping-with-the-horizonx:

pizzacal:

fmlcal:

It isn’t bad if you found out about bands like Blink 182, All Time Low, The Cab, Sleeping With Sirens, You Me At Six, and so on through 5SOS. I repeat: IT ISN’T BAD. All music is shared in one form or another.

What is bad is if you listen to such bands only because 5SOS listen to or in order to impress 5SOS. That is bad.

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT PRAISE THE LORD AND YOU

THANKYOU

so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg

lefayss:

dude 

like

dragons are mentioned in almost all cultures all across the world even before they had interaction with each other and you’re telling me they didn’t exist